Cocktail Chatter
Written by guest writer, Lyra Shade
I often find myself in interesting conversations, but drinks with friends last night actually turned into a real-life therapy session. Let’s cover a few introductory housekeeping details before we dive in.
First, I am not a therapist—like, a licensed one.
However, I do know a lot of therapy techniques and have been trained in so many things that I've forgotten all the letters I could have behind my name!
I've changed all the names in this post because things got messy, and no one wants their business out there! (Well, some people do!)
My name is also not my real name. I write under a pen name—a nom de plume, if you will.
Now onto my night: Katie asked me to go with her to pick up her dog from her longtime boyfriend’s (we’ll call him Leo) mother’s house (let’s call her Patti). A two-hour ride—an all-day adventure, right? Fast forward, and the dog is in our possession. We managed to retrieve the dog without having to “see” Patti. I hear she’s quite a character, but not the cool kind of character. We drive around the corner to where Patti’s other son, Jim, lives with his wife, Selena.
Keep in mind, I've never met Patti, Jim, or Selena. I thought this was going to be a quick hello—yeah, eight hours later...
So here’s the backstory: Katie has been with Leo for 10 years. He is not a good boyfriend. He doesn’t beat her or anything—I just really don’t like him. Until last night, I couldn’t really pinpoint why. He needs a complete soul purge or an island to himself. I mean, I do see how he treats Katie—just enough attention to keep her around. Sounds like a narcissist, right?
About two years ago, Katie moved to another state, 16 hours away, bought a house, etc. She didn’t break up with him. His parents live where Katie moved, and I think she thought Leo would follow. He has not. He still visits several times a year, yet there is nothing left of this relationship except for comfortability? I don’t have the answers. What I do know is that people live their lives in both conventional and unconventional ways, and my friendship with Katie is important to me. I tell her what I think and let her live how she sees fit. Whether she stays or cuts ties, I will still be around to pick up the pieces or cheerlead through all her chapters! Life is a journey, right?
Let’s speed up. Selena invites us in—she’s warm and welcoming. Jim is on his way back from dropping Patti off at her house—he’s taken her to the doctor for something about her knee. So there we are: me, Katie, and Selena on the back lanai, with Katie and Selena catching up, and Selena getting to know me. AND THEN!!!! The conversation turns to Leo and his treatment of Katie, how Selena doesn’t like Leo, calling him a few choice words. I sit there taking it all in, listening to Katie tell stories I’d already heard, letting them do their family venting. There was also an awful lot of Patti bashing, but hey, they’re the proverbial “outlaws,” so good on them for venting! Jim walks in about mid-story of Leo’s emotionally cheating ways, looks at the group, shakes my hand, and says, “Sounds like drinks are in order.”
With drinks in hand and some small talk, Selena asks about Patti, and that’s when the impromptu therapy session started. Let’s be real—those of us with any therapy background know it just kicks in before we can stop asking that one question that 100% sucks people in. It happens, it happened, and before the night was out, I had answers, I had laughs, I had passion, a little anger, and EVERYONE gained insight.
TO BE CONTINUED
Part 2 Next week