Hate To Feel
"Addiction is a monster; it lives inside, and feeds off of you, takes from you, controls you, and destroys you." - Castle Craig
“I know I’m near death. I did crack and heroin for years. I never wanted to end my life this way. I know I have no chance. It’s too late.” - Layne Staley
Layne Staley, the former lead singer of Alice in Chains, died on April 5, 2002, at the age of 34 due to a drug overdose.1 His body was not discovered until two weeks later. Staley’s accountant, Susan Silver, noticed that he had not made any withdrawals in that time, which prompted a wellness check at his apartment, leading to the discovery of his body. The autopsy revealed that he died from a combination of heroin and cocaine. Staley’s struggle with heroin addiction was well-known. He frequently missed band practices, which contributed to the band drifting apart and extended the recording process for their album, "Alice in Chains," which was released in November 1995. During the recording of their MTV Unplugged performance, it was evident that Staley was performing under the influence. Over time, he became increasingly isolated from both the band and his friends, which is likely why his body was not found until two weeks after his death. Staley's troubles began in childhood, stemming from his parents' divorce when he was just seven years old. He grew up living with his mother, a Christian Scientist, while having an estranged relationship with his father, who struggled with drug addiction.2 Staley also faced the tragic loss of his fiancée, Demri Lara Parrott, who died from a drug overdose on October 29, 1996. Following her death, it was reported that Staley was placed on a 24-hour suicide watch due to the profound impact her passing had on him.
“Everybody laughs when fatty falls down.” - Chris Farley
Chris Farley, one of the biggest names in comedy during the 1990s, died from an overdose of opioids and cocaine in 1997. He starred in hit films such as "Tommy Boy," "Beverly Hills Ninja," and "Black Sheep." Farley was also well-known for his time on "Saturday Night Live," where he portrayed memorable characters like "Matt Foley, Motivational Speaker," and participated in the iconic Chippendales sketch alongside Patrick Swayze. Friends and colleagues on the show noticed a change in Farley after that sketch. Chris Rock, a fellow cast member, described it as a dangerous turning point for Farley. "That was a weird moment in Chris's life," he said. "As funny as that sketch was, and as many accolades as he got for it, it's one of the things that killed him. It really is. Something happened right then."3 Farley's weight was both a blessing and a curse. He faced bullying as a child because of his size, using humor as a defense mechanism. His physicality and comedic style attracted fans and helped launch his celebrity status. However, he feared that losing weight would make him less funny, even suggesting to others that he should gain more weight for comedic effect.4
“Addiction is like the Joker. It just wants to see the whole world burn.” - Matthew Perry
Matthew Perry, beloved for his role as Chandler Bing on the show "Friends," died from drowning in his hot tub, with ketamine contributing to the incident. His decades-long struggles with addiction were well-known to the public and especially to his castmates. Perry was open about his battles with drug use and alcohol while filming "Friends." He noted, "You can track the trajectory of my addiction if you gauge my weight from season to season. When I’m carrying weight, it’s alcohol; when I’m skinny, it’s pills. When I have a goatee, it’s lots of pills"(from his memoir, Friends, Lovers, and the Big Terrible Thing: A Memoir). Despite achieving fame and success with "Friends," he realized that the fame did not fill the emotional gaps he felt inside, which contributed to his drinking and drug use. Perry became addicted to pills following a jet ski accident in 1997, after which doctors prescribed him Vicodin. He struggled with addiction for years, going in and out of rehab, and his cast members tried to support him. Unfortunately, in the end, the addiction proved insurmountable.5
The list of celebrity premature deaths is alarmingly lengthy. As a reader, you likely know someone who has struggled with addiction to drugs or alcohol. These substances have not only caused countless deaths but have also devastated families and relationships. In my work with clients, I often hear stories of fathers who come home drunk in the evening, becoming physically and verbally abusive toward their families. I've heard accounts of mothers who, consumed by drug addiction, neglect their children in favor of their drug dealers. When assisting clients who are dealing with addictions, it’s common to find a history of trauma and abuse in their past. It's often said that alcohol and drugs serve as a form of self-prescription. While it is encouraging that users are seeking ways to address their pain and problems, it's important to recognize that these methods are neither healthy nor effective solutions.
“The priority of any addict is to anaesthetize the pain of living to ease the passage of day with some purchased relief.” - Russell Brand
An evidence-based approach that has proven successful in addressing addictions is Motivational Interviewing (MI). The goal of MI is to assist individuals in navigating their ambivalent feelings about change and to empower them to find the motivation to make that change.6 Rarely does a person alter their behavior simply because they are told to do so; in fact, they may even argue against the necessity for change. I encounter this frequently with clients who are mandated by a judge or Child Protective Services (CPS) to attend therapy. Instead of instructing them to quit drinking or using drugs, I focus on helping them realize that their current behaviors are not effective. My role is to guide them toward this realization on their own, as they must acknowledge their mistakes to ignite their motivation.
If you have a loved one struggling with addiction, MI can be a valuable tool. It may help persuade them to seek professional assistance or to attend support groups like Alcoholics Anonymous (AA). Simply telling them they have a problem and need to fix it often fails to inspire motivation; in fact, they may continue their substance abuse out of defiance. People are more likely to respond positively when they feel listened to and understood. By expressing empathy, you can create an environment where they are more open to hearing your concerns. Consider the image below as a representation of the internal experience of someone struggling with addiction. This visual may enhance your patience, empathy, and understanding towards your loved one. They cannot conquer their addiction alone; change is fostered when they receive support from those who are nearest to them.
Fraga, K. (2024, February 28). How alice in Chains frontman Layne Staley died of a speedball overdose at age 34. All That’s Interesting. https://allthatsinteresting.com/layne-staley-death
Starkey, A. (2023, December 4). Layne Staley’s chilling viewpoint on drug use. Far Out Magazine. https://faroutmagazine.co.uk/haunting-moment-layne-staley-said-he-didnt-want-to-die-like-kurt-cobain/
Crouch, I. (2015, August 10). The big, funny, Tragic life of chris farley. The New Yorker. https://www.newyorker.com/culture/cultural-comment/the-big-funny-tragic-life-of-chris-farley
Chris Farley’s Addiction Struggle & Legacy of recovery. Silver Lining Recovery. (2025, March 4). https://silverliningrecovery.com/chris-farleys-struggle-with-addiction/
Chang, R., & Donica, A. (2024, August 15). Inside Matthew Perry’s lifelong addiction struggle. Matthew Perry’s Lifelong Addiction Cost Him Three Years of Memories on Friends. https://www.biography.com/actors/matthew-perry-addiction-friends
Sussex Publishers. (n.d.). Motivational interviewing. Psychology Today. https://www.psychologytoday.com/us/therapy-types/motivational-interviewing#:~:text=Motivational%20interviewing%20is%20a%20counseling,is%20to%20make%20life%20changes.